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People value different things because they think in different habits. They think in different ways because their brains are different. Accordingly, it is important to manage and communicate with people in different ways so that you are speaking ‘their’ language. Remember, choosing to adopt the belief that ‘Communication is the response you get,’ understanding and communicating within other people’s model of the world allows for the best result.
Values What’s most important
Beliefs Convictions we trust as being true
Attitudes Determined by collections of beliefs
Belief Systems The structure of our convictions
Core Beliefs Fundamental convictions of what’s most important to us
Formation of Values
Role modelling is something that humans do unconsciously from the time they are born. According to sociologist, Dr. Morris Massey, we each go through major development stages. Think of what was happening in your life during these periods, who you may have been modelling, what surroundings, education, group affiliations and Significant Emotional Events influenced you toward or away from certain values and value systems.
0-7 Imprint Period – You’re a sponge; 20 Billion Synapses are created.
7-14 Modelling Period – Who you are is largely due to who you modelled at around 10 years of age.
14-21 Socialisation Period – Here you take your model out to socialize it – try it on in front of others.
21-35 Career Period or Business Persona – Here you model who you relate to in the business arena.
Below are alternate types of values elicitations to use in different contexts.
The steps to eliciting values are a simple process. It is simply a case of asking your client,
1. “What is important to you in the context of your Career?” (or whatever you are focusing upon, eg: Career, Relationship, Family, Health, Fitness, Personal Growth, Spirituality, etc…
2. List each value and continue asking, “What is important to you in the context of your Career?” until you elicit all the values. Your client will get to two blank spots, where they will appear to run out of ideas of what they value. Push them to two blank spots; these are boundary conditions of their thinking; here you will often discover the gold – vital values.
3. Now have them prioritise their values based upon their most important value down to their least important value by asking them, “Now, number your values according to their value to you? What is the most important value? What’s next?”
In performance enhancement coaching – it is most useful in placing your clients’ values in the order in which their values fall realistically, that is how they really are, not what they would like them to be. Then you can do some values work to alter them to enhance their performance.
Values Elicitation – Complex Equivalents
Sometimes values can be an indicator of a Complex Equivalence; i.e.: one thing not necessarily equaling another. The questioning process to elicit a Complex Equivalence is as follows (using the value of “Passionate” as an example): –
“How do you know when you’re passionate ?” What does it mean to you to be passionate ?”
“How do you know when someone is passionate with you?”
“What is your evidence procedure for passion ?”
“What causes you to feel passionate ? Why?”
EG: Complex Equivalence – “When my blood is pumping fast through my body, I know I’m passionate.” Counter the Complex Equivalence – “Have you ever been passionate and calm at the same time?”
Knowing a person’s values can be useful in effective and persuasive communication.
Values as elicited in hierarchy: –
In this case you can feed back their values in what will become an engaging sentence, such as: – “Alex, if I could show you a way to grow your wealth, doing what you love with integrity, where you could connect with some wealthy individuals would this interest you? And if I could also offer you the freedom to grow to whatever level you desire, would you go all the way and get the most from all our trainings?”
By using all the values in the proposition, you are creating a compelling proposition.
“What’s important to you in the context of your Career?”